Friends With Benefits August 9, 2012

I answered him in wafting romance, exceeding my expectations of anxious insecurity.

Brief moments of erratic sincerity and elevated bliss, he captured my desire for friendship.

Summer nights exchanged with memories of loves once known, I saw only him sitting next to me, indulging my mind with tantalizing tales and gentle compliments.

Fire lit our breaths, our inner secrets exposed to no one, dark surrounded our embrace, his room filled with engaging conversation and an occasional flirty caress.

His kiss fueled my obsession, sex running through my veins, my every thought, he left me craving his tongue in shades of cool water soothing my burn.

I walked away, regretting only that I didn’t stay longer, wearing my smile, holding my pink laced bra, twirling my curls, shattering any hopes of love, truly accepting our relationship for what it was.

© LR 2012

Like I Loved You July 31, 2012

At times like tonight, when I miss you so very much and my heart aches without you, I write and hope you’re out there, somewhere, reading my thoughts.

No matter how logically I can see that we weren’t meant to be, I still want you in my life.

I’m so in love, and so blind, and all I want is for you to love me too.

Tears stream from my eyes tonight; I need you here to comfort me.

Yesterday was a rough day and I want you to hold me, kiss me, tell me we’ll get through this together.

Why did you leave? Yet I’m so grateful you did; I hate that I see the positive in this change.

I want you back, that’s the truth, but I could never allow it, and that breaks my heart all over again.

I earnestly pray away my love for you, asking God to fulfill me in more satisfying ways.

Come to me in my dreams, release me from loving you.

Be kind, compassionate, and tender, and allow me to run towards what’s best for me.

Don’t be angry, or judgmental, or rude, just love me like I once loved you.

© LR 2012

Words Without Meaning July 13, 2012

The flame that once burned
died with a single breath

Scraping the plaque from my heart
that fear left behind

Every memory confuses me more,
constantly distracted so not to remember

Tears stream sadness into my voice
cracking the definition of my existence

I am the love that God promised the world,
walking beauty into blind lives

Suffering not from heartache,
starved for the only One who can fulfill

Grave words haunt the night
and I sleep, yet again, with lies.

© LR 2012

Apologies in Truth July 1, 2012

The soft melody of night comforts me,
delights me in the promise of tomorrow
and a new beginning.

 

The cold, chills beneath my flesh
worries my heart with the emptiness
that not having him by my side may bring.

 

Another gift I so callously brushed aside,
waiting for heartache to besiege me,
not allowing him a fair fight.

 

My apology, I pray, tethers to his soul,
breathes forgiveness into his lungs,
and offers me another day.

 

© LR 2012

Never-Ending Farewells June 26, 2012

Pressing doubt flourishes
the moment her spirit awakens to truth

Only she is capable of loving herself
through depths of enlightened grace

Less obsessed,
finally able to catch her breath

Feel the heaviness of these lines,
the desperation in the pauses

An unusual blue stare
embraces her in the calm, serene

A charm fit for royalty,
she spends the day as his Queen

Is peace at fault
for their anger, their shame

Will they be open, wiling,
able to transform

Looking forward to the day when goodbye
means, “See you later, my love.”

© LR 2012

The Constant Distance June 19, 2012

Not much of a wish, or a desire,
truth be told, I’ve known all along

Going through the motions
until disappointment presents itself

Unable to sparkle, shine, or elate,
unwilling to mask the growing despair

One day I’ll find my prince
and he’ll readily accept my offer

The constant distance of love
will no longer rule my existence

© LR 2012

Untethered Love April 23, 2012

The scent of love, carried in the wind, whisked through my open window,
beckoned me to play.
Unwilling to sacrifice my heart again, I pushed love out,
closed the window.
Challenging love’s faithfulness,
I secretly prayed for its relentless return.
Each night, the scent lingered outside,
patiently awaiting my embrace.
Love promised trust, honesty, loyalty, affection, acceptance,
to fill me complete,
my strongest desire was to believe,
to feel, to know, love.
Slowly, I opened the window,
using His strength to lift the heaviness off my closed heart,
and allowed love to settle,
to no longer be carried in the wind.

© LR 2012

Self-Awareness April 20, 2012

A memory of strength
slowly becomes my reality,

Days are manageable
nights are restful,

Remembering all I’ve overcome
inspires me to keep moving,

Stagnant air permeates deceit
growth is what I need to breathe,

Friendships, love, healing
appreciating the gift of life.

© LR 2012

Harmonious Love April 13, 2012

A flutter,
deep within her body,
builds with anticipation as eyes focus.

Words,
crafted with her in mind,
glimmer, sparkle with life.

The life,
She lives and provides, the light,
The hope, the constant care.

Love,
two in love, perfectly matched,
suited to frame the beauty of souls.

© LR 2012

You, In Glass Houses March 26, 2012

I sensed the judgment in their eyes,
Digging into my soul,
Attempting to know who I was.
The tone in which they spoke of me,
Claiming to know my truth.
I never before questioned their intentions,
Yet now I evaluated each relationship.
Did they speak of my tears,
Of the coldness my heart learned to call home,
Did ever they wonder why my life seemed so perfect,
What I may have been hiding beneath 320 pounds?
In denial I found comfort,
Familiarity,
Connection,
Eventually it led me to darkness.
As I stepped into the light,
My eyes were opened,
I wasn’t happy.
How masterfully I had fooled them,
Shocked them with the word divorce.
Nonetheless, I cried,
Alone,
Forgotten,
Betrayed,
And judged.

© LRB 2012

Shaping My Heart October 30, 2011

You match my beauty
Surpass my strength,
Experiencing passionate love
I feel safe in your embrace.

 

Your honesty and faithfulness
Leave no room for doubt,
My most beloved moments, spent
Watching the word love escape your mouth.

 

For the first time in my life
I’m finally accepting me,
And there you are, by my side
My perfect-fitting puzzle piece.

 

© LRS 2011

 

His Touch August 15, 2011

Luring and engrossing
His hand glides over my breast
One graze of my nipple
Chills cover my flesh.

 

I smell him
Familiar and sexy
His heart belongs to me
Yet mine is empty.

 

At first I am shy
Allow only one
He is persistent
Wants me to cum.

 

The closer we get
Our bodies start to fuse
Together as one
Clothed in rouge.

 

Four hours and counting
Not stopping for even a breath
Long, hard, heated strokes
Make me so wet.

 

I feel his tongue, soft and warm
Lick my thigh
In a matter of seconds
He is deep up inside.

 

I scream out with pleasure
Squeeze him so tight
The fluid flows freely
Warm and white.

 

I am the woman for whom
He desires with height
I am the gate keeper
His lover and wife.

 

© LRS 2011

 

Numb August 12, 2011

I realize you need me strong
Forever capable of running this race.
Not made of steel
I sometimes crumble,
It is then
I need your strength.
Yesterday,
You let us down
Lost your cool
Made a dangerous mistake.
My trust, now shattered
I gather the remaining pieces
Attempt to salvage our love.
On this empty space beside me
Lingers your scent
I smell you in my dreams.
Why did you let go?
Why do I hold on?
I’ll continue to wait
Just wish you wouldn’t take
So long.
Discover yourself…
Find me.

 

© LRS 2011

 

in this moment August 9, 2011

the noise
it never quiets
the pull, the push

 

time forever seeps
from earth’s core
flies through my existence
passes me
quicker than a single breath
escapes their lips

 

the effortless click, click
clicks of their fingers
leads them no closer
to knowing me
than hoped for, imagined
prayed for

 

respect
admiration
simple love
does not harness life
more complex than human anatomy
flesh meets the heart

 

i long for an explanation
a map of their actions
a scripted response
a blank soul…
an easier route to
their reciprocated love

 

a care
a concern
a dream
reality through fantasy
the voices will fade

 

© LRS 2011

 

Mistakes, They’re a Plenty July 22, 2011

Flip. Rumble. Panic.
Bright pink, star bursts, open air.

 

Inch. Passion. Beg.
Cool mist, salty shouts, fly away.

 

Comment. Stare. Passive.
Protect life, eat alone, slam hard.

 

Risk. Enchant. Confuse.
Scrawly brown, rippled looks, dancing clouds.

 

Bead. Jump. Grieve.
Die tomorrow, opaque brilliance, ordinary love.

 

Never swallow rum prepared by dirty hands loosely stored in work gloves, especially on a Thursday.

 

© LRS 2011

 

My Rising July 19, 2011

Locked up
behind doors in my mind.
Mountains of thoughts
built up over time
waiting patiently
to be climbed,
overcome,
to crumble with confidence.
In favor of my heart
I tightly close my eyes
refuse to see anything
other than love.
Like stones loosening at the base
my emotions drift off
break free from their foundation
become their own.
I’ve been given a second chance
a rare opportunity to connect
never contemplating the risks
I free fall from
the highest point of my thoughts
and wait to be caught.
Soaring above my body
looking over all aspects of life
I find true love.
Slowly
I may be ready to open the doors
one
easy turn of the knob
at a time.

 

© LRS 2011

 

Deliver Me July 15, 2011

 

questioning
all i knew as truth
under the influence of one
transformed
into everything i once believed
was wrong

 

if this is me
how can i fight it?
not sure i belong here

 

running
towards rastafari
hands in the air
waving my white flag
i surrendered
my soul now aches

 

stalk me
cover me in your passion
with all of you
nothing is ever enough
all i ever crave is
more

 

caught
in a whirlwind
chaotic thoughts
stable
in one moment
clinically ill
the next

 

nobody will ever understand
for i am utterly confused
grateful
i still feel something
not yet numb
just waiting…
for
death

 

© LRS 2011

 

Silver Locket July 13, 2011

Nothing more satisfying
Than his touch
I tingle in anticipation.
To feel him
Wrapped all around me
Means one more day of life.
Breathing him into my lungs
Trapped beneath my breasts
Where I shall secure him forever.

 

© LRS 2011

 

I Am July 7, 2011

I am
stuck
Like chewed bubble gum on the bottom of a dirty shoe.

 

I am
whispering
Like a sinful Catholic schoolgirl in a dimly lit library.

 

I am
guilty
Like a violent burglar caught on video.

 

I am
angry
Like a wild boar trapped in a wire cage.

 

Thrashing my body against the walls of your mind
I want out
Let me free
Strong and determined
I will break these chains of oppression
Stand on one foot of bravery
Fiercely grip confidence
Staring you right in the eyes.

 

Back
the fuck
up!

 

© LRS 2011

 

Catch and Release July 6, 2011

What do I want?
What do I imagine?
Horror plagues your face
As the answers spill
From these troubled lips

So pure?
So righteous?
Allow me to introduce myself
Sick in depth
Beyond repair

A one way ticket to hell
Not sure I want to make the trip back
Another plight into lust
Snatched up without a fight
I practically begged

You wish
To be in my presence
Bathe in my light
Yet, I’m sure
Disappointment is all I’ll cause

Touch with one finger
Then retract into your fantasy
I won’t taste sweet
I won’t smell of love
I’ll sag and sway and disgust you away

Please stop
Turn around
Run deep into her arms
Where you belong
Remember me no more

After all
I am meant for another
One stroke at a time
I free you
From my grip

 

© LRS 2011