The emptiness behind these walls fills with terror.
Forced to view my reflection through his eyes
I tremble with fear.
Questioning if his love is genuine
I test his level of acceptance
Revealing my soul’s darkest secret.
Strong enough to say goodbye
Hoping he won’t also disappear
Ask me to face this alone.
As I write each word
I also say it aloud
Wanting my own ears to finally accept the twisted truth.
So sure he’s scared, disgusted, and ready to run
“It’s okay. I understand. You can go, I’ll be fine.”
In my heart I plead,
Please don’t leave me all alone. Please still love me. Please, I need you.
Confusion instantly flees
I hear myself
I see what I see
Found, I am home.
I feel peace blanket me entire.
Calm releases from my gut and spreads
Searching for freedom
Out through my toes, fingertips, mouth, and top of my head
Spins around, covering me complete.
No longer bound by darkness,
Trapped dead in secrets
It is well with my soul
I am free.
Tenderness whirls through my body.
He gently takes my heart in his hands
Breathes life back into my deadened spirit.
Softly, softer than ever before
He kisses my forehead
Lovingly hugs me close
Sings songs of praise as I weep in his embrace.
He never once closes his eyes
Turns his back
Or leaves my presence.
He takes my hand
Stitches it to his own
So we may take this journey together,
Live in love.
© LRS 2011