we are the fog
the haze
the cloud that separates.
we are the limits that bind us
the burning un-yearning.
we are the fate
the music
the despair that settles.
we are the hopeless romantics
the bliss that keep us wanting.
© 2020 All Rights Reserved.
Held May 10, 2018
Side by side – we fought
against everyone, we clung to our fears.
Masked – hiding from the all
of wholeness, together we stayed confined.
Protected, guarded, armed for war,
the hearts we shattered – ignored.
Safe and abused we stood crippled,
alone – gasping for embrace.
© 2018 All Rights Reserved.
Still Alive May 7, 2018
I am still alive. I am here.
You lose, depression.
You lose, fear.
I am still alive. I am here.
© 2018 All Rights Reserved.
hushed May 6, 2018
Out of unintentional compliance, voluntarily I quieted the voice of my soul.
Backed away, went into hiding; I ran from her.
Unacknowledged and disconnected, I kept her in the dark… abandoned and muzzled.
Listening to everyone else.
Submissively surrendered my self, and to the wolves fed my soul’s voice.
The voice aching… to be acknowledged. Expressed. Heard.
I felt her pleas; gnawing at my eyes, distorting all I saw – clouding every awareness, a desperate attempt to be seen.
A truth unread – her story.
©2018 All Rights Reserved.
Seeker April 4, 2016
Where do I find you,
Man willing to fall in love.
Deeply.
Madly.
Wholeheartedly
In love,
I wait
For you.
©2016 All Rights Reserved.
Forget Me Not January 25, 2016
Do you
Know the taste of my lips
Might you
Remember the passion of my love
I left
You with plenty
Aching memories of my touch
Long for me.
©2016 All Rights Reserved.
Handwritten January 20, 2016
I placed a fire within him,
The passion I reached for
And walked away with depth.
Searching endlessly for talent
I kissed the life of an artist,
Painted a love I couldn’t find.
Yet I longed for lines, and
Tales and a chance at happiness,
Until I smiled into the night
Feeling every inch of pain.
Dreaming awake, still,
Reaching out to be with you
For days and nights and songs to come.
©2016 All Rights Reserved.
Unloved, Unread January 8, 2016
How many,
How many of them hurt
the way I do.
Do they,
Do they know how often
my heart breaks again.
Will ever,
Will ever the word normal
be how I feel.
When almost every
moment is hard to breathe, I
wake to find hope in the
embrace of love. Yet
love is something I can’t find
here. Not within my self.
©2016 All Rights Reserved.
Hope For Things To Come January 1, 2016
I left
A familiar despair,
I carry it no more.
The fall
Attacked my spirit,
I fought back with angst.
My victory
Filled with hope,
I live in His promises.
He>I
©2016 All Rights Reserved.
Authentically Me December 31, 2015
I have a foundational creative insight which manifests in many different ways depending on my mood, circumstances, and resources. I often shift my creative outlets and interests fairly quickly. This realization has provided me with the freedom required to release myself from expectations to fit molds deemed acceptable by agreements I’ve made. My desire to drift away from creative concepts that encompass me, is not a form of failure. It is growth. It is transformation. It is the way my creative self works best. I’m determined to embrace my whole being and accept who I am, loving her completely. I won’t judge or punish myself anymore for being authentically me.
©2015 All Rights Reserved.
First Love December 30, 2015
The etches of my soul
Call to you, my love.
Your adoration beckons me
From the depths of despair.
The softest caress of your
Hand embracing the curves of
My neck. I am yours.
The colors of your heartbeat
Press into the whites of my eyes. I watch life.
Dearest lover, my most treasured of fairs, I love eternally.
Forever carried in the bosom of grace, you loved me first.
©2015 All Rights Reserved.
The Journey: 9/30/15 September 30, 2015
I’ve been feeling down, hating myself; my looks, attitude, financial situation, lack of relationships, and overall circumstances. It’s been leading to a joyless life filled with negativity and self-rejection.
After years of dealing with abandonment and rejection from others, followed by years of healing from those experiences, I am now finding more and more that I have been abandoning and rejecting myself.
Why? Is that what I feel I deserve or am I just so used to that kind of treatment from others that I’ve turned it inward?
I spend a good amount of time reflecting, looking within for insight, practicing self-awareness and evaluating my behavior. Recently it’s revealed my lack of self-love, self-acceptance and self-respect. The way I’ve been talking to and treating me is far beyond my scope of how I would even treat an enemy. At least with an enemy I’d be more likely to ignore them and not engage rather than be rude and hateful.
So, now what do I do to change these behaviors and focus more on loving, accepting and respecting myself?
©2015 All Rights Reserved.
Unfinished Todays June 13, 2015
The many unfinished kisses,
glances your eyes never caught.
When I’m merely a memory,
feel me the heaviest then.
Once my scent is lost,
breathe deeper still.
When the silence is so loud all you hear are my cries,
remember the I love you’s I never said.
If everyday were today,
I’d carry you into the light of my soul,
fearing love no more.
©2015 All Rights Reserved.
I Am Stronger Because I Had To Be February 28, 2015
Being a strong, independent woman has felt like a curse at times. I don’t always want to tackle the situations I’m faced with, but I HAVE to.
Living a life of purpose, happiness, and love means almost never being comfortable. Because change is always coming. Like a tree, I’m continuously growing, blooming, and becoming a newer version of myself.
Emotions sometimes get the best of me, despite my extra-hard efforts to give it my all. I’m not perfect, never will be, so naturally I fall short, make mistakes, and rarely look pretty doing so.
The most important aspect of my journey towards living consciously has been my faith. My foundation has been set in God since an early age, and at my darkest times God is who kept me alive. I’ve been hopeless, suicidal, and desperate. But I’m still here. And not just existing, but being. Doing. Trying my best to really live.
I struggle, more often than not, to really thrive. Striving to be my best, do my best, feel my best, and live out loud. Attempting to love myself unconditionally, really believing in my self-worth, and helping others discover this within themselves as well.
Today, I’m struggling. BUT I’m so grateful to have people to reach out to and have the tools to take care of myself. Now I just need to motivate myself to take those actions.
I’m here to encourage you to be strong, love yourself, love others, do your very best, allow for mistakes, be kind, share your struggles and your blessings, show compassion, take chances, and most importantly find your faith. Find a higher power and actively participate in that relationship. God’s love will never cease.
©2015 All Rights Reserved.
It Starts With A Kiss February 27, 2015
Reach deeply into lust,
Thrust hard with passion
Into the depths of me.
Lap my sweet nectar,
Cover your face
With every drop of pleasure.
Lather with your spit,
Soothe my insatiable thirst
To feel you fill me.
Into my throat you awaken,
Consuming every taste
I’m smothered in you.
Slow, with love and pleasure,
I accept my reward
Swallow your length with gratitude.
Our mouths feast,
Making love with my tongue
I take you into my throat.
With you I escape,
Tightly you grip
Handfuls of breasts, ass and hair.
Pure ecstasy in shades of trust,
Lay me in bed
Satisfy my beast.
©2015 All Rights Reserved.
Ready to Love February 26, 2015
Leave your shoes by the door,
They’re safe there.
Kiss me with vulgar tenderness,
Wrap my lips in yours.
Return to innocence,
When we were merely words to an unheard love song.
Dare your heart to swim within mine,
Alive and dying for my kiss.
Stitching up emptiness with every passing breath,
Our hearts long to know love.
Leave your shoes by the door,
You’re safe here.
©2015 All Rights Reserved.
The Soulless Grieve Too December 29, 2013
Consequences strike harder than I was prepared to bear
The undeniable force of regret and guilt surface more often than not
In a constant state of reflection and transformation my heart grows weary,
My soul grieves
Gasping for breath,
The uncontrollable angst,
I thought I was lost, realized my eyes were just closed
Existing in the light,
Moving forward
Life is within reach.
©2013 All Rights Reserved.
Does emotion drive us to seek knowledge? December 3, 2013
One can acquire knowledge of things in and of this world; however, if they fail to understand basic human interactions, what can all that knowledge really provide?
Respect, kindness, consideration, acceptance, compassion, understanding; these are a few character traits that prove valuable. Without them, the wealth of knowledge seems useless.
Without compassion and understanding for a cancer patient’s suffering, would a scientist/doctor be compelled to find a cure?
Without consideration and kindness towards mankind, would the study of religion serve a purpose?
Without acceptance and respect for others, would a judicial system be necessary?
These types of character traits, what some may call feelings and/or emotions, seem to be what drives one to acquire vast knowledge, and without them, what good would obtaining all the knowledge in the world truly do for mankind?
Would a cancer patient desire a cure and long to live in a world full of knowledge yet void of respect, kindness, consideration, acceptance, compassion and understanding?
Would religious groups work with vigorous effort to teach their messages of serving others, loving one another, seeking internal peace, or obtaining never ending happiness to live in a world full of knowledge yet void of respect, kindness, consideration, acceptance, compassion and understanding?
Would a judicial system be in place to serve justice for a world full of knowledge yet void of respect, kindness, consideration, acceptance, compassion and understanding?
If one truly believes that simply acquiring knowledge can make them powerful, I say they may be the weakest and most ignorant. Knowledge holds no power or strength without the backing of pure emotion and character.
©2013 All Rights Reserved.
Embraced in Red October 23, 2013
Breathe unto me
Shallow breaths of lust
Fill my heart
With tender whips of love
Aching desires to know
The softest taste of my lips
Quiet pleas flick
Sensual licks upon my flesh
You, kind suitor
May forever know my touch,
The smoothest smooth and roughest rough
©2013 All Rights Reserved.
In the Face of Adversity January 31, 2013
Most of us have faced adversity, some more than others, but hopefully what we learned, how we chose to overcome, the compassion we gained, and the experience we lived through inspired us enough to not give up.
I struggle, a lot, and I’m doing my best not to give up. To remain hopeful in God. To stay focused on my growth, not stuck in the pain. I trust God is in my difficult situations just as He is in my blessings. I’m practicing trust, honesty, and forgiveness, but I am struggling.
Once I get past this, and am able to move forward in my journey, I pray I’ll be able to look back at my difficulties and be grateful for how far I’ve come.
Willingness. Acceptance. Healing. Growth. Change. This has been a very powerful journey for me, probably the most dynamic adversity I’ve yet to face. And God willing, the most significant blessing to my life.
©2013 All rights reserved.
Her Story Unread 