Boomerang June 8, 2011

The unpredictability of you
scares me, pushes me away
But,
that’s what you wanted
am I wrong?

 

Haven’t you worked this hard
to make me disappear
get lost in you
tear my soul from its core,
wasn’t that your plan?

 

Am I now to be concerned
forgive, move on
love as before
pretend you aren’t who you are
yet again, give you all of me?

 

I certainly know
the liar in you
is more worthy than your apologies
and the manipulation of your words
is more dependable than your actions.

 

So I’m in your head
your thoughts are wrapped around me
you miss me
you’re sorry for how you’ve behaved
you’re seeking help.

 

Which is truth, which is farce
I have no desire to determine either
I want only to be forgotten
I want out of this equation of
evil, toxic, poisonous love.

 

You have not a clue of what
the word love really means
or requires. Mine is to be
earned, not toyed with
I have no more time for your issues.

 

I am claimed to be known
yet the woman you believe I am
is your own fantasy, I am not her
you know no more of me
than what is known of yourself.

 

Cut from the same cloth
yet one is
alive in truth
and the other,
dead in spirit.

 

I mourn the loss of what
I wish we had, what lived in my dreams.
The reality of you
I have only one word to describe
Disillusioned.

 

© LRS 2011

 

Everclear February 4, 2011

Breathe

Deep breaths.

In and out

Just breathe.

I’m left alone

Separated.

Now I can finally breathe.

 –

Slightly sad

I do miss him.

Not the man I now know

Rather, who he was before.

I am happier without him.

I was miserable

Craving more.

 –

I allowed lust to break me.

I lost everything

Hard work gone wasted.

I’ve taken back my heart

I’m in the driver’s seat now.

I learned my lesson

The hard way.

 –

I always struggle

Being drawn to those that use

Abuse

Throw away.

I shouldn’t allow adore to consume me.

The level of sin and despair I was trapped in

Will never again survive me.

 –

Focusing on

Jesus

Myself

And genuine relationships.

Being cautious with my heart

Without changing who I am.

Thankful I learned this

I am now stronger

Smarter

More in harmony with my spirit.

I eliminated toxic wastes

My purpose is clear.

 –

 –

[You may not believe this

God uses you to reach others.

He used you to reveal me.

God has a master plan

I trust Him.

 –

I’m sure you already know

You’re not that

Smart

Nice

Successful

Loving

Compassionate

Understanding

Sympathetic

Caring

Or attractive.

 –

You are a

Selfish

Rude

Dishonest

Cruel

Ignorant,

Failure.

I am content being ignored

By you.

 –

I no longer want

To attract people like you.

Apparently, my message is being received

Loud and clear.

Accomplish all the fame and fortune

This world has to offer,

You will never be as happy as I

Until you are able

To be honest with yourself

About whom you really are.

 –

You want others to feel about you

All the horrible things

You feel about you.

You make your own worst judgments

Come true.

Call yourself an asshole

Treat others like shit

They will eventually agree with you.

 –

Want compliments?

Change.

It is obvious

You are not ready or capable

To change right now

I have to change.

You’ll be left in the dust

To fend for yourself

You’ll be fine

I did it.]

 –

© LRS 2011