Am I merely a pawn in this mutual game
Or am I dictating our every move
One play at a time I’m being healed.
The ravenous tiger within me has been unleashed
Accepted and more alive than ever
All secrets are now revealed.
A bright flash of orange strikes the morning sky
Red, then yellow followed
Your controlled, calm umbra acts as my shield.
Tender and inviting, a cocked smile gazing down at me
With my wrists bound
At your feet I kneeled.
© LRS 2011
Lost, abandoned by selfish family
She saw him
Thick curls warmed his neck
Brown framed his face
A tall, thin, hardened boy
The pain of seclusion leaked from his heavy eyes
When he said I love you
Her heart filled with acceptance
When she felt his puckered lips
Pressed against her natural breasts
She filled with warm, rich pleasure
The sweet sensation of his gentle touch
Deep within
Hurt her courageous bones with joy
She didn’t want to part from him
She wouldn’t ever give him the chance to forget her
Stay around
Stay with me
Her heart constricted with pure agony
With each passing city
The distance between their souls
Grew more and more
She felt his love slipping right through her wet fingertips
She never intended to leave
She lay there, aloof
Staring at his masculine image
Pretending they were still together
Tormented by fate
A master at running away
She bid adieu
Their love will pullulate forever
© LRS 2011
Loving you comes so easy
So sweet
So thoughtful
So gentle
Move towards me
So slowly
Let me
Ease your stress
Don’t miss me
Stay here
With me
Never leave my heart
I’ve listened to you
Everyday
Still my feelings
They’re hard to convey
Give me what I deserve
I’ll never allow anything less
Did you hear what I said?
Do you still love me?
Walk along the beach
Call out to me
I shall hear you over the seas
Love you
All I do…
Love you
All I see…
Love you
Whatever it takes
I know you’ll pull through
I now believe
You love me too
© LRS 2011
Motivated to move forward
Backed up in a corner
I didn’t have much of a choice.
Bad decisions left me here
Hope amongst tears
Determined to find my own voice.
© LRS 2011
I write,
Even though I know
No one is reading,
Because it’s healing…
For me.
If any reason
Is good enough,
I am.
Alone
Braless
Vulnerable,
Loving my self
More than I loved you.
Patient
Capable
Willing,
Desperately necessary
Handle with care.
In one instance
We tainted everything
For better or worse?
I’m not sure.
Do I wish
To go back in time
Take back that moment?
Sometimes…
Mostly.
Slowly,
I am opening my heart
Yet again, to you,
Although you still
Remain nameless
In my phone book.
This time
You’ll need to
Earn
Your spot.
Knowing you may
Glance my way
Encourages me to
Strive,
Work harder
Be smarter
Aim higher.
Perhaps my sparkle
Will capture your heart
Once and for all.
Finally at peace
I see what you see,
I no longer require
Your validation to thrive.
I am
And forever shall be
Wonderfully made.
Now, I wait for sleep
To overtake my mind
My body,
Where hopefully
My dreams
Will be less disappointing than
My reality.
© LRS 2011
I knock on the door
“Come in,” I hear said,
I walk into your house
See you laying in bed.
“Hi,” I whisper
“Hello,” you return,
“Come here,” you request
Oh how I want, oh how I yearn.
Here, I lay in your arms
Allowing your warmth to become my own,
You wink at me, a smile escapes
When I am with you I never feel alone.
As I snuggle my face
Deep into your chest,
Your sweetness smothers
Becomes my breath.
Feeling this moment
As if it were true,
I close my eyes
Find my self in you.
Hold me close
So close, so tight,
Here, laying together
We watch day become night.
I must never fall asleep
Or lose the feel of your touch,
For when I wake in the morning
All that remains will be dust.
For now I’ll stay here
Laying next to you in bed,
If I can’t have you with me
We’ll be together in my head.
© LRS 2011
The unpredictability of you
scares me, pushes me away
But,
that’s what you wanted
am I wrong?
Haven’t you worked this hard
to make me disappear
get lost in you
tear my soul from its core,
wasn’t that your plan?
Am I now to be concerned
forgive, move on
love as before
pretend you aren’t who you are
yet again, give you all of me?
I certainly know
the liar in you
is more worthy than your apologies
and the manipulation of your words
is more dependable than your actions.
So I’m in your head
your thoughts are wrapped around me
you miss me
you’re sorry for how you’ve behaved
you’re seeking help.
Which is truth, which is farce
I have no desire to determine either
I want only to be forgotten
I want out of this equation of
evil, toxic, poisonous love.
You have not a clue of what
the word love really means
or requires. Mine is to be
earned, not toyed with
I have no more time for your issues.
I am claimed to be known
yet the woman you believe I am
is your own fantasy, I am not her
you know no more of me
than what is known of yourself.
Cut from the same cloth
yet one is
alive in truth
and the other,
dead in spirit.
I mourn the loss of what
I wish we had, what lived in my dreams.
The reality of you
I have only one word to describe
Disillusioned.
© LRS 2011
Not certain you realize
how many tears
I’ve wasted
on you,
How much care
I once held
for you.
Days
eagerly
passed
with thoughts
of you.
Greedy little faith stealer
compassionless whore searcher,
Self-absorbed
brimming with anger,
a dangerous combination.
As I’m writing this
it has occurred to me
you’re not even worth
my time,
My tears have ceased
my heart has hardened.
Thoughts of you
are
distant memories
I care…
no more.
© LRS 2011
Light, so bright
Playful and high,
An open-ended corner
Gifts I cannot deny.
Innocent
Full of life,
I protect with care
Delve with delight.
Ready, open
Prepared to flee,
Beauty, this beauty
Uncommon to me.
Gauged by wealth
Success… no risk,
Flirted with evil
Not all opportunities I’ve missed.
Conditioned
Masked by wisdom and truth,
I waited to be used
Like a forgotten phone booth.
Hated, I’m not
Judged, forever I’ll be,
With respect for the lady
I danced with her king.
Community space
Shared by those that do not speak,
Laces that grippen
Constantly weak.
Amused and unshappened
Dictated by loss,
On fire with passion
No matter the cost.
Angered by trauma
Swept up by despair,
Encouraged by insight
Released by my fear.
Accepting my fate
Gaining strength in my knees,
Naked without secrets
I embrace this bipolar disease.
© LRS 2011
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