I Am July 7, 2011

I am
stuck
Like chewed bubble gum on the bottom of a dirty shoe.

 

I am
whispering
Like a sinful Catholic schoolgirl in a dimly lit library.

 

I am
guilty
Like a violent burglar caught on video.

 

I am
angry
Like a wild boar trapped in a wire cage.

 

Thrashing my body against the walls of your mind
I want out
Let me free
Strong and determined
I will break these chains of oppression
Stand on one foot of bravery
Fiercely grip confidence
Staring you right in the eyes.

 

Back
the fuck
up!

 

© LRS 2011

 

Best For Me June 8, 2011

Not certain you realize
how many tears
I’ve wasted
on you,
How much care
I once held
for you.
Days
eagerly
passed
with thoughts
of you.
Greedy little faith stealer
compassionless whore searcher,
Self-absorbed
brimming with anger,
a dangerous combination.
As I’m writing this
it has occurred to me
you’re not even worth
my time,
My tears have ceased
my heart has hardened.
Thoughts of you
are
distant memories
I care…
no more.

 
© LRS 2011

 

 

On Bowed Knees May 10, 2011

Doors upon doors open my chest
Guilt spills out covering their faces like masks.
They hide beneath terror
Afraid of righteousness
The fear of God paralyzes them.

 

Heightened burdens cloud my steps,
Inspire my actions.
Realized and provoked
Their teeth rip into my flesh with rage
Hungry for blood,
Thirsty for revenge.

 

Eat, sulk
Celebrate my demise.
Sins overshadow greatness
Anger arises, brighter than crisp white linen
Soft and with vigilant preparation.

 

Mercy seeps
My pores constrict with desire.
I withdraw nothing
I rule with skills of a Queen.

 

© LRS 2011

 

The Blameless April 27, 2011

Mixed up in a world that agrees with nothing I believe.

–

A faceless man with hard breath
Sour and angry
Moves towards me.

–

Mixed up in a world where strangers are closer than family.

–

Shifting one leg over the other
I pull him close to me
Wanting all he has to offer.

–

Mixed up in a world that glorifies instant gratification.

–

My desires
Stronger than my mind
Overwhelms our physical unification.

–

Mixed up in a world that preys on innocent love.

–

He reaches into my mouth
Goes straight for my heart; grips fiercely,
Yanking it from my chest.

–

Mixed up in a world where fighting prevails.

–

Entranced by his allure
I never say stop
I never once even moan in pain.

–

Mixed up in a world filled with beautiful struggle.

–

I allow him to steal my heart from its safe casing
I watch him steal every ounce of my self
Left feeling used, penniless, cheap.

–

Mixed up in a world, having only myself to blame.

–

© LRS 2011

My Perfect 7 January 1, 2011

Light, so bright
Playful and high,
An open-ended corner
Gifts I cannot deny.

 

Innocent
Full of life,
I protect with care
Delve with delight.

 

Ready, open
Prepared to flee,
Beauty, this beauty
Uncommon to me.

 

Gauged by wealth
Success… no risk,
Flirted with evil
Not all opportunities I’ve missed.

 

Conditioned
Masked by wisdom and truth,
I waited to be used
Like a forgotten phone booth.

 

Hated, I’m not
Judged, forever I’ll be,
With respect for the lady
I danced with her king.

 

Community space
Shared by those that do not speak,
Laces that grippen
Constantly weak.

 

Amused and unshappened
Dictated by loss,
On fire with passion
No matter the cost.

 

Angered by trauma
Swept up by despair,
Encouraged by insight
Released by my fear.

 

Accepting my fate
Gaining strength in my knees,
Naked without secrets
I embrace this bipolar disease.

 

© LRS 2011

 

2:10 am December 19, 2010

Awoken by a telling chime,
I lay surrounded by darkness.
Cold and quiet,
I am not tired.
In rooms bursting with people
I am alone.
Talking to you
Provides relief.
I filled with anger
As you spoke tonight.
I can no longer
Tolerate us.
Rattled and questioned,
My faith stepped in to rescue me.
Suffocated by your love,
I need to breathe again.
Not quite sure where I went,
Lost in a sea of others.
Loving you
Has broken me,
Learning them
Has focused me,
Practicing
Has inspired me.
Never devoid of heartache;
Never enough love.
Linked to characters in a fantasy world;
Disconnected from God.
Smothered by this world,
Desired by its keepers,
My voice
Shall be heard.
Those who tore at me
Will heed
And will grieve
At my ignore.
Brilliant and blackened,
Shadows cool my force.
Thoughts of red
Quickly emerge.
Names flow off your tongue
Like I don’t exist.
I am attacked,
Filled with sorrow.
Consume me
Swallow me
Become me
Free me.
Filtered by your stare
Allowed by your will,
Accept me
Then forget me.
Only the rain can wash this bitterness away.

 

© LRS 2010